I'm looking to find out areas to focus on to improve.  But do be kind - you might want to also point out, for balance, some things that don't give away that it's by a beginner (with hardly any music theory or ability to read music).

I started composing classical music in July, and this is my 6th track so far.  It's by far the best and most adventurous...  You can hear it at https://heartfulhealing.co.uk/track6