Videos

Replies

Gavin Brown September 5, 2021 at 2:31am

Hi Marvin,

A decent pop/rock tune. Maybe a Neil Young influence? I think it could have benefited from your voice being a little higher in the mix, but it is also ok as is, other than the end, which seems cut off. Thanks for posting!

Gav
- Marvin Cripps > Gavin Brown September 5, 2021 at 5:10am
  
  Thank you for listening and for responding,Gavin.
Douglas Locke September 13, 2021 at 2:42am

This isn't bad at all. People don't really do music like this anymore, it seems. Though it's not really in that style, the chords and lyrics remind me a little of something Pink Floyd might do with more electric guitar and sweeping instrumentals.

For suggestion, your voice gets drowned out in parts. Maybe the levels need adjusted a bit in those parts. I also agree with Gav. For my ear, that last chord would have been better strummed and let ring.

Usually I don't critique much on composition. What I like, the next guy may hate and vice versa, so I don't think it's fair. But if I was producing this song, I would have you put in a third part for one round, maybe right after the solo break. It would break things up a bit and make the return to the original more dramatic. I also always like it when a song's melody changes (not drastically, just a note here or there) or harmony is added on the last round.

Thanks for sharing!
- Marvin Cripps > Douglas Locke September 13, 2021 at 4:31pm
  
  Thanks for listening and for your input, Douglas! I usually write a poem and try to set it to music. My performance skills are, I know, limited and would much rather just write. Thanks again for being honest and open.