P. C. Christmas Music

[Lawrence Aurich]

This Christmas, I mean holiday season, when you gather the family around the Christmas, I mean holiday tree to sing Christmas, I mean holiday carols, I mean songs, but you don’t want to offend anyone, just put on this recording and sing the politically correct lyrics I have printed out for your convience. 

 

We wish you a normal holiday

We wish you a normal holiday

We wish you a normal holiday

And an okay future

 

Deck the halls with bowls of jello

Ya da ya da ya da ya dya ya

Tis the season to be mellow

Ya da ya da ya da ya da ya

Don we now our straight apparel

Ya da ya ya da ya ya da ya

Toll the ancient holiday  carol

Ya da ya da ya da ya da ya

 

I’m dreaming of a nice holiday

Just like the ones I didn’t know

Where the Walmarts glisten

And children listen

To hear shoppers on the go

I’m dreaming of a nice holiday

With every holiday card I write

May you never slip on the ice

And may all you holidays be nice

 

Happy holiday to you

Happy holiday to you

Happy holiday dear holiday person

Happy holiday to you

 

Merry Christmas, Bob, Kristofer, Gavin, Saul, Michael, Michael T, Raymond, Roger,  Fredrick, Oliver, Gene, Tim, Rush, and Miss Gorgeous, where ever you are.

 

Lawrence

P.C. Christmas music.pdf

P.C. Christmas music (.mus).mp3

[Lawrence Aurich]

Kman,

     I'm offended that you're offended.  You know what offends me most is birthdays.  Just think of the discrimination involved.  One person gets all the adulation while statistically there are 364 others who are discriminated against.  What is Christmas but a big birthday celebration?
 
Kristofer Emerig said:

Lawrence,

I'm boycotting you. I am offended by the word "holiday", which is a religious allusion, however generic. In fact, I'm so PC, I'm even offended by those who fail to feel offended, and offended by my own offence.

No offence, but Merry Christmas.

[Lawrence Aurich]

Now those are some people who should be offended.  May the farce be with you.

Lawrence
 
michael diemer said:

Don't forget the Solstice observers, who get their treats tomorrow. (Remember not to look directly at the Sun!). And my friends from #DB&()_{KBWE, an alien world on the far side of the Galaxy, are gearing up for the Third Occlusion of the Fourth Sun, although their spirits are dampened by protesters objecting to holographic depictions of the birth of Gort, and his fabled journey to our world in the 1960's.

[Lawrence Aurich]

Bob,

     You're all about the music.  I was thinking we should team up and do a musical.  You do the music and I'll do the lyrics.  Here's a concept:  A young Romeo loses his sweet heart to Peewee Herman.   I'm calling it, "Gone with the Schwinn."
 
Bob Porter said:

Since PC sucks the life out of everything, the music should probably be in minor.

[Michael T]

I am offended by your use of the word 'holiday' since it is derived from Holy day.  Now change it to 'vacation' and you're in the clear!  :)

[Michael T]

Ooops, I didn't see Kristofer's first post. I hope he's not offended that I unwittingly repeated him.

Michael T said:

I am offended by your use of the word 'holiday' since it is derived from Holy day.  Now change it to 'vacation' and you're in the clear!  :)

[Vincent Avila]

[[This Christmas, I mean holiday season, when you gather the family around the Christmas, I mean holiday tree to sing Christmas, I mean holiday carols, I mean songs, but you don’t want to offend anyone, just put on this recording and sing the politically correct lyrics I have printed out for your convience]]

Looks like some dork's been watching too much Fox news..

Say hey to O'Reilly for me.

BTW..As an Atheiest, I don't give a Damn what you call it, the war on Christmas is within thyself.

[roger stancill]

next line..... buy more gifts   spend more dough
Kristofer Emerig said:

I just discovered that if one sings "si-i-lent night, ho-o-ly night", the meter works much better as "si-i-lent night, se-cu-lar night"

strange.

[Michael T]

In England we say someone's been "reading the Daily Mail", a national paper which likes to propagate the fallacy that some people are 'offended' by Christmas and that some local authorities want to ban it. When the facts in their stories are scrutinised, the articles are usually found to be hysterical scaremongering.

Vincent Avila said:

Looks like some dork's been watching too much Fox news..

Say hey to O'Reilly for me.

BTW..As an Atheiest, I don't give a Damn what you call it, the war on Christmas is within thyself.

[Michael T]

And notice it's not the good people of Bradford who are complaining but a councillor who is also ....um.....a  minister!

Kristofer Emerig said:

You mean these people?   http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-1236106/Council-renames-Chr... Do people still read in England? ..Amazing.

 

Yes, their black and white rants are as offensive as Ol' Saint Nick, but at least he's still red.
 
Michael T said:

In England we say someone's been "reading the Daily Mail", a national paper which likes to propagate the fallacy that some people are 'offended' by Christmas and that some local authorities want to ban it. When the facts in their stories are scrutinised, the articles are usually found to be hysterical scaremongering.

Vincent Avila said:

Looks like some dork's been watching too much Fox news..

Say hey to O'Reilly for me.

BTW..As an Atheiest, I don't give a Damn what you call it, the war on Christmas is within thyself.

[Michael T]

I notice you used the term "under some conditions". Are you then implying that Ray might have a condition? I'm offended on his behalf!

Fredrick zinos said:

I'm offended by the word vacating since under some conditions its might imply that the person being spoken to is vacuous