So, for the best two months I have been cranking away at this piece, although I originally planned to make these two parts movements of my symphony, my composition teacher convinced me otherwise. The two sections are supposed to be opposites of each other in sound (the first section being a very pure, pentatonic/modal way of dealing with things) with the second being a very rough, edgy, agitated one. Also, I learned this style is called "California Impressionism" because it takes influence from minimalism and impressionism. I would really like feedback on transitions and if I keep the moods of the two different sections (also advice on the last section would be more appreciated than advice on the first section). Also, does the piece flow well?

Observationsv3.pdf

Observations.mp3

You need to be a member of Composers' Forum to add comments!

Join Composers' Forum

Email me when people reply –

Replies

  • I can see that you are growing more as a composers with each piece. Its flows fairly well, though I wish you would devlope some of your sections more. A lot of the time I felt that  you created a built up but they didnt go any where; example would be the ending (63 to the end) its growing and getting faster and it feels like its going a climatic ending, but instead it just stops. 

    Other things worth noting is some notational errors:

    59-62 in the right hand of the piano is not playable. If you want those notes exactly you need to dispers some of them into the left hand as well. OR notate how to finger that because the only way to finger those chords is if on3 figure play two notes and if that is the case notate which finger does that.

    65-70 you need to write Accelerando or accel.... in the music with the ending tempo at the end of the accelerando instead of just writing out all the tempos for each measure. 


    Those are the only two major notational issues I had, other then that its a fairly good piece. good work. 

     

  • Thanks tyler :D 

     

    also, I 59-62 is playable with right hand (though you have to us part of your hand to do so) and 65-70 the accelerando will be put there very soon, I promise.

     

    Unfortunately, I only had 5-6 minutes of time for music (and I am still working on the end, I recently came up with an idea I thought would be nice) Though yes, everything will be fixed very soon (also, UGH my program keeps failing me >:( )

  • Hi  Clark the materials are good you'd work on other time...let me i make an example to u ... a modest example I think one learn more to this kind of example that in 100 word.

    I've chosen the first 8 bars but the work is more interesting after, but i don't want to spend many time...only an example...my ideas are spontaneous ideas if u like u can work in this manner but with your style! (is important)

    if u don't like this thing tell me and i'll try to remove the files i ve uploaded

    bye  

    esempio.pdf

    esempio.mp3

    https://storage.ning.com/topology/rest/1.0/file/get/8608081057?profile=original
  • I think the problem is that I concieved the piece in a much more "bell-like way" your way certainly works, but it is not something I would do. Certainly your version is very cool (and dangit, why didn't I think of violin in octaves at the beginning!?!) but it is not how I would go about it. Thanks for the advice though!

  • ok, I don't debate your way, i only said that anyway u should enrich, musically, your piece. Yes! you don't use my way! u must find a yours! but maybe i don't understand your "kind of thinking".

    p.s. i've read again what i write..so i m sorry if i seem arrogant..it is not my intention but i know only few word and expression in english..i don't know how can i express me  in other way.  

     

    bye

  • thank you Zinos for your comments about my english...i've just begun to study it  (for the toefl test!),

    and thank you 'cause you appreciate my pointers.

     

     

This reply was deleted.