New piece - feedback appreciated

Hi

This is my first Composers' Forum post.


I've been doing electronic music for some years, but am now trying to develop my composing skills more in the jazz field so here's a recent piano tune.

I'd like to evolve it a bit and could do with some feedback so I'd greatly appreciate any comments and suggestions for improvements.

Thanks,
Anders

Imogen.mp3

Imogen.pdf

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Replies

  • Hi Anders, I like what you've got so far ... simple but strong.

    I felt like it had a mellow pulse(groove) and that you might try

    adding 1 more voice, like a horn or clarinet, ala Kenny G, here and

    there to give it just a bit more depth, and pi-jazz if you know what I mean.

    (just a bit of feedback from a tin ear)     lol      RS

  • Hi Roger

     

    Thanks for the feedback!

    I like the idea of adding a horn. I'll try it out and see if I can create something interesting.

     

    Cheers,

    Anders

     



    roger stancill said:

    Hi Anders, I like what you've got so far ... simple but strong.

    I felt like it had a mellow pulse(groove) and that you might try

    adding 1 more voice, like a horn or clarinet, ala Kenny G, here and

    there to give it just a bit more depth, and pi-jazz if you know what I mean.

    (just a bit of feedback from a tin ear)     lol      RS

    New piece - feedback appreciated
    Hi This is my first Composers' Forum post. I've been doing electronic music for some years, but am now trying to develop my composing skills more in…
  • The second half of the head feels somehow ... contrived? The tension you've built in the preceding bars lets go at the end and it feels inappropriate. Maybe you should try *not* resolving to the Ab at the end of the head - leave it hanging on the dominant. Just stay on the Bb for one more bar.

    In the second section switching from a single note melody to notated chords - that was unexpected. That's going to mess up your soloist if this is being used as a fake chart. Also the quartal chords suddenly evoke a different style from what was above and I feel like it lost cohesion at that point. Only subtly but enough to be worth mentioning.

    Your quarter note triplets aren't notated correctly, but I understand this is a W.I.P. and you can fix up all the typesetting later. Use repeat barlines for the head, add rehearsal markers ( [A] [B] [C] e.g.), etc.

  • Hi Ian

    Thanks for honest and useful criticism. Will try out your suggestions and see where it takes me.


    Ian Ring said:

    The second half of the head feels somehow ... contrived? The tension you've built in the preceding bars lets go at the end and it feels inappropriate. Maybe you should try *not* resolving to the Ab at the end of the head - leave it hanging on the dominant. Just stay on the Bb for one more bar.

    In the second section switching from a single note melody to notated chords - that was unexpected. That's going to mess up your soloist if this is being used as a fake chart. Also the quartal chords suddenly evoke a different style from what was above and I feel like it lost cohesion at that point. Only subtly but enough to be worth mentioning.

    Your quarter note triplets aren't notated correctly, but I understand this is a W.I.P. and you can fix up all the typesetting later. Use repeat barlines for the head, add rehearsal markers ( [A] [B] [C] e.g.), etc.

    New piece - feedback appreciated
    Hi This is my first Composers' Forum post. I've been doing electronic music for some years, but am now trying to develop my composing skills more in…
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