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Hey everyone, I had this for a while but this is actually the first time I post it here, I would like to hear what you guys think about it, I also would love to hear what you guys think that was strong and what was weak about it, all of your feedback is highly appreciated, any thoughts? suggestions? :) 

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mj_NAm8S0BI

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Hi Islam,

This has some pleasing things about it, and also some things which I felt could use some consideration. On the pleasing side, it is a pretty tune in a pop vein. On the other side, it feels a little disjointed - the opening part with the tremolos in the left hand seems not to be strongly related to what comes after. Also, it has a quality of being kind of the same throughout, sticking to the middle register without much variance in volume, to the point where the more it went along, the more I came to want to hear something new, so my interested began to wane. Thanks for sharing!
Gav

I found it pleasant if perhaps a little long.  In this I agree with Gav. If my intention were to sit and listen intently - say, if it was performed at a salon-type session, I think my attention would wander - but as incidental music, if I were sitting there reading or something, it would be a soothing background piece - nothing wrong with that - much of the music I listen to these days has to be in the background because there's so much else to be done.

So yes, pleasant, and in a way does convey modesty. A nice inspiration therefore. 

Well done.

Well, many thanks for the feedback Gav.. Well, I have never had a specific genre of music that I always listen to, I am not actually biased to any kind of music, but when it comes to composing, I feel that the pop vein is more what the majority of people (also those who are not musicians) connect to, you know sometimes classical music is quite hard to keep up with to most people, however, what I was trying to do here is to give a taste of classic within a pop vein as you called it, thinking that this would expand the audience, I think that's what makes it perceived as a disjointed composition; would you please demonstrate the parts that you felt that there is no much changes out there and it seems that the listener is waiting for something interesting but never gets it, therefore, the interest fades?, I think this point is very important, coz I always want to connect my audience all through the piece, I do not wanna loose their interest, I 'd love to hear you demonstration so that I consider it during my next composition, thank you for your valuable input  Gav:)

Gav Brown said:

Hi Islam,

This has some pleasing things about it, and also some things which I felt could use some consideration. On the pleasing side, it is a pretty tune in a pop vein. On the other side, it feels a little disjointed - the opening part with the tremolos in the left hand seems not to be strongly related to what comes after. Also, it has a quality of being kind of the same throughout, sticking to the middle register without much variance in volume, to the point where the more it went along, the more I came to want to hear something new, so my interested began to wane. Thanks for sharing!
Gav

Many thanks Dane for the feedback, very informative, I'd love to hear your inputs about this, does it make you wanna hit the replay button? and if the answer is no, what suggestions you might have that would do the replay? 

Dane Aubrun said:

I found it pleasant if perhaps a little long.  In this I agree with Gav. If my intention were to sit and listen intently - say, if it was performed at a salon-type session, I think my attention would wander - but as incidental music, if I were sitting there reading or something, it would be a soothing background piece - nothing wrong with that - much of the music I listen to these days has to be in the background because there's so much else to be done.

So yes, pleasant, and in a way does convey modesty. A nice inspiration therefore. 

Well done.

Sure Islam, it begins around :45 and continues on through the end of the piece. I found by around 3:20 I was starting to fade, perhaps if you simply started increasing the volume around then it would have given me a feeling of building towards an end -

Islam Y.Omari said:

would you please demonstrate the parts that you felt that there is no much changes out there and it seems that the listener is waiting for something interesting but never gets it, therefore, the interest fades?, I think this point is very important, coz I always want to connect my audience all through the piece, I do not wanna loose their interest, I 'd love to hear you demonstration so that I consider it during my next composition, thank you for your valuable input  Gav:)

It does have a touch of the classical vein, as you say, Mr. Omari. I enjoyed it, it was impeccably played, and I am always impressed by that. By the way, that was a real piano, was it not? Some of the black keys looked a bit worn, like they were made of wood. (Yamaha does make electronic pianos, which is why I wondered about it).

Anyway, well composed and played. I can see what Gav was referring to about it being perhaps a bit longish toward the end, but as a mood piece in this case some repetitiveness does not detract from the desired effect, but actually enhances it. We all hear things differently of course, which is why this place is so great. with so many members you're sure to get many varied responses.

As it happens I did replay it late last night.

The only thing that grated was the occasional octave vibrato but that's a matter or style that others may be ok with. The rest was soothing. 

Islam Y.Omari said:

Many thanks Dane for the feedback, very informative, I'd love to hear your inputs about this, does it make you wanna hit the replay button? and if the answer is no, what suggestions you might have that would do the replay? 

Dane Aubrun said:

I found it pleasant if perhaps a little long.  In this I agree with Gav. If my intention were to sit and listen intently - say, if it was performed at a salon-type session, I think my attention would wander - but as incidental music, if I were sitting there reading or something, it would be a soothing background piece - nothing wrong with that - much of the music I listen to these days has to be in the background because there's so much else to be done.

So yes, pleasant, and in a way does convey modesty. A nice inspiration therefore. 

Well done.

oh thank you, so basically, you did connect to the tremolo part, 45-3:20 is actually repetitive in its nature, so that I let the audience understand the melody parts and more like anticipate them, I see what you are talking about Gav, may be playing on dynamics a little bit or change the rhythm, many thanks, I will take this in consideration during my nxt composition, I 'd love to hear from you by then and see if I passed this observation, coz as much I really want it to be relaxing but I dont really want the interest to fade away. many thanks

Gav Brown said:

Sure Islam, it begins around :45 and continues on through the end of the piece. I found by around 3:20 I was starting to fade, perhaps if you simply started increasing the volume around then it would have given me a feeling of building towards an end -

Islam Y.Omari said:

would you please demonstrate the parts that you felt that there is no much changes out there and it seems that the listener is waiting for something interesting but never gets it, therefore, the interest fades?, I think this point is very important, coz I always want to connect my audience all through the piece, I do not wanna loose their interest, I 'd love to hear you demonstration so that I consider it during my next composition, thank you for your valuable input  Gav:)

Oh thank you so much Michael, having different opinions is really encouraging for me, that means that some audience connected to it and some did not, which is pretty normal in the world of music, (still this is way encouraging than having everyone agrees that they did not connect to it lol) and that's why this place is great as your referred to, it evaluates your work from a musicians perspective around the globe, and drag your attention to things that you might not have paid attention for, and I'd always love to hear the weaknesses so that I pay attention to them in the future, your comment has made my day, thank you :) I loved that you felt the repetitive part does not retract from the desired effect, but now I noticed and thanks to your comments all and as Gav noticed that it might be longish towards the end. 

Well, the keyboard is yamaha p-35, however, I used it as a midi keyboard in this video, it is not the sound of the keyboard itself, after I finished my midi, I sent it to a friend of mine who happens to be a really good audio engineer, and then he turned it to this sound, he added effects and some piano plug-ins, you would be surprised that this is a recorded midi structure :)

 
michael diemer said:

It does have a touch of the classical vein, as you say, Mr. Omari. I enjoyed it, it was impeccably played, and I am always impressed by that. By the way, that was a real piano, was it not? Some of the black keys looked a bit worn, like they were made of wood. (Yamaha does make electronic pianos, which is why I wondered about it).

Anyway, well composed and played. I can see what Gav was referring to about it being perhaps a bit longish toward the end, but as a mood piece in this case some repetitiveness does not detract from the desired effect, but actually enhances it. We all hear things differently of course, which is why this place is so great. with so many members you're sure to get many varied responses.

Thank you so much Dane for your input, very helpful :)

Dane Aubrun said:

As it happens I did replay it late last night.

The only thing that grated was the occasional octave vibrato but that's a matter or style that others may be ok with. The rest was soothing. 

Islam Y.Omari said:

Many thanks Dane for the feedback, very informative, I'd love to hear your inputs about this, does it make you wanna hit the replay button? and if the answer is no, what suggestions you might have that would do the replay? 

Dane Aubrun said:

I found it pleasant if perhaps a little long.  In this I agree with Gav. If my intention were to sit and listen intently - say, if it was performed at a salon-type session, I think my attention would wander - but as incidental music, if I were sitting there reading or something, it would be a soothing background piece - nothing wrong with that - much of the music I listen to these days has to be in the background because there's so much else to be done.

So yes, pleasant, and in a way does convey modesty. A nice inspiration therefore. 

Well done.

Romantic tune, post-modern in its form in the sense that you let your feeling flow. It gives me an interesting impression and surprising feelings. Well done, Omari.

Kjell

wow, thank you so much, I am very happy to hear that :D

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