• Ok I will post a few thoughts as i listen to this;

    • I like the g minor add nine intro - sounds quite stark
    • Those parallel chords are ok for dramatic effect, but it would have sounded better I think if the A major chord had stepped down to D major and then G minor - circle of 5ths.
    • quite a nice melodic section in G minor
    • Bar 34-5 again it sounded like the next section should be in D minor or major as the A chord could have been the dominant chord. I didn't hear a strong key change to A major.
    • Bar 36 - quite liked this section but there is Db in the trombone and a C# in the piano
    • When it gets to the end, I was really surprised by the A major chord with a b9 added. I'm not sure if the effect here is surprise, but obviously it makes the piece sound a bit unfinished but this must be the intention.
    • So in terms of structure, after the long intro in G minor I was a bit disappointed we didn't return to that key.

    So in conclusion, some nice melodic interplay, but i was a bit surprised by the sudden ending. Anyway, who am I to judge, let's leave it to the experts in the competition we have both entered.

  • Thanks for the kind words. After leaving it to sit for a while, I realise now that the ending could of been extended a little more and that the gap near the end is a bit extensive. I may go back and sort these things out if I don't have anything else to work on.

  • I assume that this work is for a competition for writing for trombone; congratulations and I wish you the best of luck. If I was a judge looking at your piece I would have some initial concerns even before listening to the mp3. When composing specifically for any instrument the first thing we always have to remember is to write for the instrument characteristically. Just a look at the score brings some concerns that I would like to bring to your attention. Trombone players do not read in treble clef. Besides the traditional bass clef, the only other clef I would consider for the trombone would be the tenor clef. But even a good high school student with a strong range would be used to reading a high Bb above the staff on the bass clef. Me personally, I would never use another clef instead of the bass clef. Another concern I would like to bring up is what the judge would think simply by looking at the score considering the rage. Because of the range, especially with the use of the treble clef and the overall tone of the work, I would think the work would be better scored for the flugelhorn instead of the trombone. For example take the high c in measure 16 marked mezzo piano. Most trombone players would look at that and think to themselves that’s not even possible, but it would be very comfortable for a flugelhorn. When using extreme ranges such as anything higher than a Bb a composer may want to consider a louder dynamic range, approaching those notes by steps, and letting out the forces for a massive climax of the entire work. Congrats again on a great start and a fine piece. Good luck in the contest and your future endeavors.     


  • I agree that it would be better suited to a different instrument. I was running out of time for writing the piece, so when I found something that flowed I went with it. 

    Regarding the dynamic marking on the high C, I'll definitely try and remember those points in future compositions. All I can really say is that its due to my lack of experience writing for brass. 

    Thanks for your reply!

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