First [almost] composition

Hi, I am w beginner when it comes to composing music so every opinion and point would mean really much to me. My melodies I'd love to put as a background for games or soundtrack for movies/series. At least this is what comes to my mind while composing. For now I am trying to search some ideas within comics that I read and so I try to make a soundtrack for some its stories/chapters.

Please hear my recent piece of music. I am waiting for the critic  :)

http://youtu.be/mDPe8h3Ycd4

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  • Okay, well you chose a nice ostinato - that is a repeating figure in the synthesizer to repeat. The added melody and countermelody given until 1:33 is nice but eventually meanders as you bring in another sound to add to the low bass and ostinato.   Do you realize the bass you use is from an old rap tune from Grandmaster Flash - White Lines, listen to about :22 except this version is bit more fuzzy. In fact you can learn quite a bit in the opening 1:00 of how layer a "groove".  Also, note how there is some call and response which is missing from your sections which would add a bit more interest.  Now the problem with Grandmaster Flash is that it gets a little dull after 2:30 because it is a simple verse/refrain with the same music (though quite good for a much shorter song) - https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WtwT492YDvg 

    Now as to intertwining your lines, meandering is fine if intentional but after a while it gets dull.  Take a careful listen to the Bach Inventions - the 2 part (that is 2 voices, though more voices are suggested).  Here is a recording - https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DF9ownY9AhM

  • Thank you for such deep analyze! Belive me or not but I can hear that this song is full of places to improve but thanks to other opinions I can strive to make it even more better. Honestly, I didn't knew that it was bas from White Lines. How did you manage to link those two? I am really impressed. You seriously compared my melody to Bach? ^__- I know we should aim higher to get to the target but this? Just kidding. I get your point. It's always better to interest listener with something that is out of the track and my score lack it. Thank you for motivating me to work more on a melody level! Now I'm doing something new, trying to align all the critic to the project. Hopefully you would be able to hear it soon.

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