Well hey there guys,

I'm new, and I figured that I would post some music that I have written because that's what we do here.
Apparently.
Unless this is some underground cult for the consumption of rare wild beats or something.

Anyway, this is the first piece that I would consider "finished", but I'm always open for critique.

I wrote this almost a year ago now, and my composition skill and methodology has improved
greatly (but my samples have not), so I wouldn't say that this is my best piece. But its still one of the only I have written.


It also doesn't have percussion. This was when I was too scared to write for percussion, but I'm happy with the sound.

Ch'yeah. 

For Eloise.mp3

For Eloise.pdf

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Replies

  • It's a delightful little piece, kind of like frolicking through a meadow. Then, at 3:39, when it changes up, it's like "Oh noes! Is that a storm cloud coming?" :O

    Overall, I liked it. Very good sounding MIDI. It actually reminded me a lot of the music from Paper Mario 1.

  • Very good piece indeed. Strong harmonic language, and for being a first piece, this is a very strong start. 

    My only critic would fall under two categories, terminology and contrast. 

    Terminology in that you said in the thread title that this is a concerto for clarinet but in the score its just work for large orchestra, and after hearing it I would have to say it sounds like a work for large orchestra. Nothing about it says concerto, which is fine because it stand by itself as an orchestral work. 

    My biggest critic is the lack of contrast in this piece. After a while the melody to the accompaniment parts just got very static. What doesnt help with this is the amount of ostinato patterns in the accompaniment, after a while they fade away and don't help the piece move forward. You had some contrasting sections but they weren't developed enough to be memorable. A tempo change, a countermelody, a change in mood, featuring another section, or even a key change would help a lot in this piece. 

    Other than that, this is a good piece and a great start for any composer. Good Job

  • Very good piece indeed. Strong harmonic language, and for being a first piece, this is a very strong start. 

    My only critic would fall under two categories, terminology and contrast. 

    Terminology in that you said in the thread title that this is a concerto for clarinet but in the score its just work for large orchestra, and after hearing it I would have to say it sounds like a work for large orchestra. Nothing about it says concerto, which is fine because it stand by itself as an orchestral work. 

    Yeah, I have no idea what I'm doing.

    My biggest critic is the lack of contrast in this piece. After a while the melody to the accompaniment parts just got very static. What doesnt help with this is the amount of ostinato patterns in the accompaniment, after a while they fade away and don't help the piece move forward. You had some contrasting sections but they weren't developed enough to be memorable. A tempo change, a countermelody, a change in mood, featuring another section, or even a key change would help a lot in this piece. 

    Noted, thankyou! :)

  • i REALLY liked this piece ! when i was listening with my eyes shut i was imagining a steam train driving through the Wild West - and possibly a film score for a Disney cartoon version of Calamity Jane .  In contrast to Tyler, i really liked the ostinato in the accompaniment.  I didn't think the piece was too long for that kind of sustained repetitiveness (unlike some god awful tedious minimalist rubbish by Michael Nyman or even the "great" Phillip Glass).  Certainly, if you developed it into an even bigger piece, you'd need to push that ostinato on to something else though.  I also really liked the motifs that you kept bringing back into the melody.  If i have one criticism, it would be that the clarinet line is, i think, really quite difficult to play at the speed on your midi file.  Sometimes, just because a music technology program can write it, doesn't mean it can be played by the real thing.  So, either it would need to be taken at a slightly slower pace, or simplify some of the runs (which would be a shame).  But other than that, a truly lovely piece. IMO

  • I really like the piece too. The repetition of the theme that you brought in the piece is actually very enjoyable. Nevertheless, I must agree with Russell, that the line for the clarinet can be difficult to play by a real player. I had been caught in the very same situation where I wanted to assign this particular melody to a particular instrument (from woodwind section) without really took a consideration that it might have just been impossible to play, regardless how much I liked the melody that I've found. I didn't even give a room for the player to take a breath in between those notes!

    Anyway, your piece is really wonderful! Great job.

    Cheers,

    Sam

  • This is an ambitious undertaking.  The things that jumped out at me were that there are a LOT of repeated notes in every player's parts. I generally try to avoid that as much as possible as it takes away from the melodic/linear aspect of harmony.  

    Let's taking the opening figure in the strings.  Firstly, I would suggest putting an "Ab" in the 2nd violins so that you have a complete triad in the string section.  With the basic triad established, you can then apply some substitute tones.  The substitutes for the root of the triad are 2, 7 and 6.  The substitute tones for 3 are 2 and 4 (though 4 can cause a harmonic clash). The substitute tone for 5 is 6.  At times it is possible to employ double or triple substitute tones.  

    I've attached an MP3 with the Db triad dressed up.  

    DbMajSubstituteTones.mp3

  • One other quick observation; you use a lot of unisons and octaves in your orchestration. I would suggest that unless you are going for a huge full orchestra "Tutti" passage, I would limit the use of octaves/unisons to one section of the orchestra.  So if you have the woodwinds in octaves (as you do in measure 31), then the horns should be doing something else (thirds, sixths or triads), and the strings could be doing something else. In other words, think sectionally and each section should makes sense on its own.  I often think in terms of melody, bass line and accompaniment.  

    Just my $0.02. 

  • And then this forum wass amazing.

    Wow I'm going to be spending a lot more time here because the criticism I have received is unfathomable. 

    Thankyou so much. 

  • A couple of questions from me.

    1. Why choose a clarinet to play the "lead" in this?

    2. Does it really need to be a piece with such large forces? You have so many parts just doubling, if you shrank the ensemble down it might make it a little more approachable.

    3. Repetition is good but one can over do it at times!

    As above the comment about the clarinet part being difficult is correct.

    Why such a daunting key as well, strings would really hate this one!

     

    Are you writing for players or PC?

  • it has flow and rythm and an appealing melody.  I like.

     on top of that, what tyler said.

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