Blue Birds

[Jason Sioco]

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CKnkH3oaulo

Lyrics:
The constant chatter and blabbering
Spreads through my ears

Blue Birds where are you?
You're the one I want to hear
Not the couch potatoes
Who chat all day with beer

The blue birds singing languorously
Singing in my dreams

Dreams in Technicolor
That's the dream I want to see
Not the constant fables
Seeing blue birds in my dreams

Blue birds where are you?
You're the one I want to hear
Want to hear more blue birds
Making music in my dreams

Looking for Critique and Feedback. Thanks.

Blue Birds.png

[Erwin van Delft]

I am not sure why you posted this, or what kind of comments you are looking for...

[Bob Morabito]

Hi Jason--

Good job--I can hear the roots of a good song here, but it needs just a little work. :)

Things I might suggest:

1) If you're going to perform the song and are accompanying yourself, you need to have what you're going to play down cold--this can include being able to play the chords in your song correctly and without delay, and knowing the tune without having to hit a chord first to follow.

2) I saw another of your videos--VERY impressive! https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lnIGSDPl0hE

You appear much more proficient on the piano, so maybe you might consider using that to accompany yourself?

Id keep composing and believing in yourself and your music, Jason--thanks for sharing :)

Thanks Bob https://soundcloud.com/bob-morabito

[Jason Sioco]

Dave Dexter said:

a) you asked once how you could get more views/improve video quality: Edit your videos to remove you turning the camera on and off and sitting down. Use better lighting and microphones. Use titles.
b) it's a grey area, but this is a composer forum as opposed to a singer-songwriter forum
c) I didn't like it. I thought it was bad. Poor lyrics and playing, unoriginal chord progression, dull and dissonant voice. But then you won't get good without first being bad.

a) I am a noob at camera editing. I'll work on that in the future, but not now.

b) Yes I'm a composer, but my melodies are much better when I take them out of acapella, rather than writing down notes and inventing motives.

c) I felt some parts of the song are bad. Prior to writing "Blue Birds", I have written 4 other songs and this one turned out to be the best. I am still a practicing musician. Last night, I made a decision before I slept that I should quit playing drums,bass, and violin, because even though I find drums bass and violin to be admirable, I have no time to practice them, and I have showed that I am lackluster at playing drums bass and violin. I made a decision to focus more on guitar, piano, and Alto Saxophone, because I have been playing them for a longer time and I am more passionate to play Guitar Piano and Alto Saxophone.

I read a book by Jimmy Kachulis about Harmony in Songwriting. My intention was to apply the things I learned in my composition. I ended up ripping off a chord progression by the Beatles. Not on purpose though.

There is a story about my voice. Around December 2010 to August 2012, I did not speak because of my mental illness. I may have uttered a sound here and there but I did not speak for a year and a half. When I started speaking again, my voice became robotic and monotone. There was one time I was speaking to a cashier and the guy in the back of me interrupted me and told me that if there was a movie, where they are looking for a robot for an actor, I will get the role. I went to see a speech pathologist, but it didn't pan out. Then I had a wild idea of getting into singing. After that every single day, I practice doing vocal exercises. Not just to help me become a better singer but to improve the tone of my voice. 

[Jason Sioco]

Bob Morabito said:

Hi Jason--

Good job--I can hear the roots of a good song here, but it needs just a little work. :)

Things I might suggest:

1) If you're going to perform the song and are accompanying yourself, you need to have what you're going to play down cold--this can include being able to play the chords in your song correctly and without delay, and knowing the tune without having to hit a chord first to follow.

2) I saw another of your videos--VERY impressive! https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lnIGSDPl0hE

You appear much more proficient on the piano, so maybe you might consider using that to accompany yourself?

Id keep composing and believing in yourself and your music, Jason--thanks for sharing :)

Thanks Bob https://soundcloud.com/bob-morabito

I am taking Jazz Piano Lessons from Amanda Tosoff. She is a popular jazz pianist in Toronto. Right now she is teaching me jazz piano chord voicings and comping. She teaches me how to make a bland and boring music sheet with quarter notes into a real jazz piano piece. In the future, she will teach me how to improvise.

[Bob Morabito]

EXCELLENT Jason--keep up the great work you're doing, both with your jazz piano, composing and vocal exercises and please keep sharing your music here--I enjoy listening to it:)

Thanks Bob https://soundcloud.com/bob-morabito

Jason Sioco said:

I am taking Jazz Piano Lessons from Amanda Tosoff. She is a popular jazz pianist in Toronto. Right now she is teaching me jazz piano chord voicings and comping. She teaches me how to make a bland and boring music sheet with quarter notes into a real jazz piano piece. In the future, she will teach me how to improvise.