Hi all. I'm new here, signed up to check out what some folks are saying/composing and also maybe get some feedback on my own stuff as well.

So here's one piece I've worked on recently. I'm curious to read some input/suggestions from anyone who cares to chime in.

Thanks in advance.

Dave

Meloncholy Breeze.mp3

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  • Here's the PDF...got chopped off for some reason though, sorry.

    Melancholy Breeze.pdf

    https://storage.ning.com/topology/rest/1.0/file/get/8608081483?profile=original
  • Hey Dave (also, lucky, you took the username Dave!) would you mind putting a midi recording or something so I may hear it? Transcribing to my notation program is busy-work in my busy-day

  • The MP3 link in the first post doesn't do the trick?

    I don't actually have a MIDI file because I did it on Garageband (.band), dunno if that is something I can post or not...

  • oh, I apologize, I didn't notice the mp3 xD. 

    Also, a few things

    Musescore is something you might want if you want to continue composing. (it's a free notation software and can get you a nice pdf of the score for this stuff) Garageband is kinda meh for this stuff. 

    Anyways, nice. Reminds me of disney in a good way. A few notation errors and things you should work on (I'll point these out later). Although the mp3 sounds MEH it will work fine on the proper instrument.  Good job

  • Thanks for the input!

    Funny you mention Disney, I worked at Disneyland for many years playing drums!  (guess the vibe kinda rubbed off or something)

    Thanks for the info on Musescore, too. 

    p.s. and yes, please do point out anything error/wise (notation or otherwise), I'm definitely looking for feedback so I can improve. :)

  • its a nice little piece, I wont get into musical details no, but I'll give you a few hints for the score from a pianists prespective.

    Do not put the accidentals on the notes, but underneath them, if the stem is upwards, or above if stem is facing down.

    When you write multiple voices, try haveing the stems of each voice facing opposite ways, ie top voice faces up, bottom faces fown. 

    Try to clarify to the player which hand is supposed to play what. for example, in measure 10 you've got G# B on the bottom voice and F# C# on the top. The player can play it all with one hand (not playing all the notes imultaniously ofc) or divide it, giving the bottom voice to the left hand (which I would do if I saw the score like that). But which of the 2 do you want? better point those things out. And make things look much more clear and tidy in your scores, it helps A LOT.

    Also there are a couple of chords that are pretty much unreachable, for example in measure 28 you've got an E G# on the left hand and then on the right, G# D G# G#. most pianists can reach 9 maybe ten notes without having anything sound blurry or pressing other keys, those with bigger hands would reach 11-12 (I think 13 was rachmaninnoff-BIG HANDS :D).there are very few people able to play that D G# G#, assuming you give the low G# to the bass. That will be played arpeggiated (as quickly as possible), which is fine, unless you do not want that.

    lookign through there a couple more places where this are pretty hard in terms of distance, do you have access to a physical piano keyboard?

  • Thanks very much Spiros!  It's wonderful to get the perspective of a pianist on this.

    You are certainly correct, the score does need to be cleaned up quite a bit and I'll pay particular attention to your comments about range issues.  I do have a clavinova, so I'll go ahead and try to hash through some of it myself to get an idea of what ideas are unrealistic/impossible (I can reach a 10th myself so if I can't manage, certainly it's not a good idea for general use).  I was hesitant to do so when composing because I didn't want my limitations as an amateur pianist to get in the way of making good music, but when it comes to range that should be something I paid more attention to for sure!

    Thank you VERY much.

  • I compose for contemporary piano and are self taught, so my opinions are usually based around feel and style rather than intricate technical commentary so sorry if my responses are a bit 'different'.

    I am interested as to what the intention of this piece is as I found it quite hard to follow the structure. The ideas were really great but the way the piece flowed from one idea to the next seemed quite confusing. The reason I asked what the intention was is because it could be that this structure is entirely deliberate!

    Secondly, what did you record this on? I was thinking the left hand seemed to overpower the right hand melody at times but I'm pretty sure that was just down to what you are using to play that piece.

    I'd really like to here it played on a proper piano though as I'm sure the melodies and the beautiful chords at the beginning would come across much better!

    Also I can definitely second the advice to get musescore - lovely free bit of software that wonderfully easy to use! :)

  • Well, I don't know if it shows up in my profile or not but I live in Tokyo. Though I'm reluctant to say this piece was "influenced" by the disaster earlier this year in Japan, I would say that my feelings/mood have been in a sort of melancholy place as a result and that's sort of why I wanted to get this piece "on paper" as it were. So I can surely understand why you'd say the flow seems rather confused, because that reflects the emotions I've been feeling (sudden shifts, going from almost despondent to very hopeful, that sort of thing). However, in a negative sense I agree with you too because I have felt as though the piece doesn't necessarily develop the ideas enough, so in that sense I consider it still a work in progress.

    As far as dynamics and all that, I haven't spent too much time massaging the MIDI data so I agree with you that there are some issues. I don't consider the recording to be "performance quality" in any way. If I have time I'll work on that some more (garageband is kind of a pain when it comes to that sort of thing).

  • I think I understand where you're coming from.  It's like I kept waiting for some type of resolution in the chords but it never came.  But like you said, it may be Dave's intention for it to sound unresolved.

    Greg Ryan said:

    I am interested as to what the intention of this piece is as I found it quite hard to follow the structure. The ideas were really great but the way the piece flowed from one idea to the next seemed quite confusing. The reason I asked what the intention was is because it could be that this structure is entirely deliberate!

    A piano piece I've been working on...thoughts?
    Hi all. I'm new here, signed up to check out what some folks are saying/composing and also maybe get some feedback on my own stuff as well. So here'…
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