Hello all. This is a piece I recently wrote. I'd love some feedback. (Be nice - I'm new here =) )

[Emily Bond]

This was composed on Logic using English horn, violins, harp and other instruments.  I used a scale from a Satie Gnossiene (No. 1)

Lonesome%20Underground.mp3

[Emily Bond]

Chris, I am very happy you feel a connection to my music, and I look forward to further discussions and also to listening to your work.  I did have a question about your suggestions:   what you mean by I bVII I bii I, etc.?  Are you talking about chords or rhythms? I mean what is the "b?" Just not something I'm familiar with.

 

Doug, thanks for your input.  It's interesting, because I think it's an age-old dilemma that artists deal with:  creativity (at least for me) is very childlike - just a kid in the sandbox - and even the editing and refining feels kind of fun, so I guess I'm not too self-critical these days.  I find that others' criticism doesn't bother me too much either, but obviously I can get touchy because there has been nastiness in the past, and I am only too aware of how too much criticism, too soon, can just kill creativity, esp. if there is the weight of a lot of internal criticism, as you said.  I find that I work better if I can amend a piece by asking myself what WANTS to happen at a particular spot, and it doesn't even feel negative, really.  

[Doug Lauber]

I agree that the Music Dissection forum is the way to go. I think 'Be nice..' sort of discourages an in-depth critique, because we proceed as if walking carefully on egg shells. So what if someone is overly harsh? Consider the source. Take the good advice and throw out the bad. I realize that any good artist needs to be very self-critical as a means for producing high-quality material. That makes it difficult to receive criticism from the outside because it adds to the weight of critical negativity that we already have internally. We must realize that although it can feel sour, a negative critique is a way towards improvements, while euphoric praise does not help us as much. For those critiquing, I recommend making points that are helpful- pluses AND minuses. ie These areas need improvement and these other areas are fantastic.

[Emily Bond]

Thanks for your intelligent feedback.  You verbalized issues I had with the piece, namely, I had trouble developing the Indian scale - anything I tried just sounded not-right. I like to modulate, try different keys, etc., but I wasn't able to get it to work that way with this scale.   So I went to another theme, which you say is too similar without being enough similar.  Well, I've wondered about that, as I have other pieces with very contrasted themes that nag at me because I lost the mood of the first part.  However, you were right about there being no connection to the B section, and it's those transitions that really challenge me.  Hence my cop-out:  I just stop and start a new theme.  Although I didn't mind how it sounded, really.

 

As for sound, yes, I am at that point where I'm considering hiring real players, especially with strings, as it's especially hard to get a good sound with sampled strings.  

 

I recognize that the word "nice" in my original posting would be loaded, especially on a site such as this.  Perhaps I should have said "considerate."  However, for me, words such as "coddle" are also loaded.  I am an experienced educator and I will state quite adamantly that good feedback never ever needs to be harsh, and if it is, it probably isn't helpful.  I see the word "coddle" as being a way for the critiquing person to not have to think about how they are putting their ideas across, or where they're coming from for that matter.  That said, honest feedback (such as you gave me) does not feel harsh to me, but helpful, so perhaps we're arguing over moot points here. 

[Emily Bond]

My issue is, I do not think good feedback and being kind are polar opposites. That said, I am definitely interested in helpful feedback.

[Emily Bond]

I'm fine with feedback that is courteous, I'm not interested in nastiness disguised as serious critique.

[Norbert Oldani]

No need to apologize on your page! You write very lovely modal melodies in all 3 of your first posts.

[Doug Lauber]

I really enjoyed that. I like your sense of pacing and space. Welcome to the forum!