I have devoted several milliseconds to a through study of the lives and adventures of the non-musical sons of the luminous JS Bach.
There are indeed many surprises here. We know that just as Bach used the figured bass to speed up the composition process, he obviously used a similar device to speed procreation. He did this by ommiting their full names and used only initials. Therefore, on the musical side we have WF Bach, CPE Bach and others.
Using the initialling technique, on the non-musical side, Bach gave us:
An accountant named CPA Bach
A Bach who tinkered with early computers, CPU Bach
Bach who drove an ambulance, CPR Bach
The Philosopher Bach who questioned everything, WTF Bach
But I think my favorite was the Bach son who left Germany at the first opportunity and immigrated to the fledgling United States. He settled in what is now Fairfax county Virgina and got into the Tobacco growing business. He was wildly successful. As luck would have it, he was.
(wait for it).... LSMFT Bach.