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Well then, I want to ask for some feedback on this symphonic work (still in progress). I named it for the moment "Waldszenen / Forest Scenes" - synonymously for some of the moods in it. The "end" is the beginning of the part following, I'll write it as a fugato. Do you think the development is understandable? Do the "weird" parts fit to the rest! Is it worth to continue? Or whatsoever you think it's worth to be criticized.


Many thanks in advance!

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Hi!

It's an interesting piece, and it is absolutely worthy of it's title (espcially in the end, where I get very vivid visions from the forest)

Some critic: I kind of get the feeling of "I'm playing a whole-tone scale up and down" in the beginning of the piece. However I mostly like how you use the two whole-tone modes. I also like how the piece changes between atonality / free-tonalily and tonality.

Now, I hear there are some motivic material that develops through out the piece, but I think it in some ways lack of coherence from beginning to end. Now, this is just my expierence from a first listening of the piece, though, so there's probably some details I'm missing. 

 

Anyways, good luck with finishing this. I'm sure it'll end up great.

Best regards Kristin

Hi Kristin,

thanks a lot for listening and commenting on my piece! I'm about to rework a couple of parts, e.g. the beginning. I'm also working on the development of motifs and themes.

I'm trying to write in a contemporary idiom and wish that it may sound good to an average listener too, so tonality can still be found, but mixed with extended tonality and atonal passages. I remember having found this in your music too.

Have a nice Sunday evening!

Rudi

After a lot of revisions I uploaded a final version of "Waldszenen" on my page on Composers Forum. Thanks again for all your input! Kind regards, Rudi
The final version is on my page and here:
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I heard this a few weeks ago on your soundcloud and I like everything about it. I tried to find you on youtube and stuff like that cause I thought you were famous, since I think anybody hearing this should realize how much detail and originality is in this work. Really breathtaking.
Thanks Vincenti for your kind words!

Very nice piece and a well chosen title ,cliche or not , it fits the mood right from the start so I wouldn't worry too much about that, very good instrumentation indeed ( love those flutters and the featherlight percussion for example )

Like Matt already mentioned some more contrast in dynamics could be interesting. There are so many things you can do of course , to stay in the forest metaphor you could maybe stumble upon a clearing or who knows what else ( an alien crashlanding site ? :D )

 

EDIT : I just noticed I commented on the older version , it seems that in the latest version most points that were touched upon have been considered already.

Thanks for coming back and having a listen to the new version, Jon! It's great to hear of listeners images while listening to music: When I am now listening with your "sun through the trees" in mind I have to admit, that it absolutely hits the nail on the head, although I didn't see such specific image while writing.

The rattling sounds at the beginning are marimba and tambourine. Too bad that you don't like it - but to me it fits exactly to my sounding idea. But I'll keep an eye (ear) on this part - maybe there's potential for improvement. 

I'm thinking about using "Waldszenen" as it is or as material for a more extensive work - maybe my first symphony. Then it may loose its title.

Thanks again for your input!

Rudi

Jon Corelis said:

As I said in my comments on the previous version, I can only comment as an average listener, but since the work seems to aim at a popular audience, maybe that will be useful.

 

I like this a lot and think it would have general appeal.  I like it better than the previous version:  it seems less "crowded", with the quieter and busier parts throwing each other into relief.  I especially liked the part around 1:00, which reminded me of sun through the trees.

 

I only had one minor negative reaction, which is probably entirely personal and maybe irrational, but I didn't like  all the rattling sounds (not sure what instrument, tambourine? shaken gourd?) at the beginning.  In retrospect I thought that maybe it was supposed to suggest rustling leaves, but on a first hearing it just didn't say "forest" to me, which I think is important to do at the beginning.  But I wouldn't suggest changing it unless other people also have that reaction; my tastes are often idiosyncratic.

Thank you, Jonas, for listening and commenting on my piece!

As I wrote above I'm thinking about to extend this to a larger work with three or four movements. Within this more extensive work I surely / hopefully will realize a lot of the ideas anid hints given in this thread. I also will think about the alien crashlanding :)

Thanks again for your time and input!

Rudi

Jonas Steur said:

Very nice piece and a well chosen title ,cliche or not , it fits the mood right from the start so I wouldn't worry too much about that, very good instrumentation indeed ( love those flutters and the featherlight percussion for example )

Like Matt already mentioned some more contrast in dynamics could be interesting. There are so many things you can do of course , to stay in the forest metaphor you could maybe stumble upon a clearing or who knows what else ( an alien crashlanding site ? :D )

 

EDIT : I just noticed I commented on the older version , it seems that in the latest version most points that were touched upon have been considered already.

Looking forward to hear it :)

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