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 A kingdom being born. So this song indicates a transitional state. I appreciate any suggestions. I didn't make this loud. I might not have made it loud enough. I'm trying to get a feel for what is a comfortable listening range. It can be loud if you turn it up more. I realize this isn't usually in keeping with tracks like this.

Any other comments appreciated. Thanks.

https://soundcloud.com/starise/thy-kingdom-come

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A Kingdom is being birthed and the accompanying picture is a floating building being berthed....sorry, couldn't resist that. The music is certainly Celtic in flavour, I like that and think it effective.

The opening theme is excellent and more use could have been made of it later on (perhaps a reiteration at the end followed by a good coda). As a stand alone piece the material could perhaps be better organised, by which I mean the climax is currently at 1m23s - rather too early in the piece I think. Alternatively you could create a bigger climax somewhere in the last third of the piece. Having said that, if this were used as a film (movie) sound track then there is loads of good material that could be developed and utilised as needed.

So, in summary, some really atmospheric music here that could be slightly better organised to produce a really excellent whole....depending on its intended use as either film or standalone (or, indeed both - with a bit of tweaking here and there).

Well done Timothy - I'm looking forward to more from you.

Saul, I appreciate these suggestions. In thinking more about this. I see your point. I have decided to re arrange the entire song, though browsers might need to be refreshed.

The new version is posted under the same link. I didn't take out all of the tension. I did take out much of it though. I arranged it so the momentum gains with the tension further toward the ending.I  held much of the theme during the music. I might not have done this exactly the way you might have envisioned. Should be much better with regard to build up and added colors.

@Stephen lines, The explanation of the picture gets a bit complicated. There are many views on these subjects.I will try to keep it simple for this. There are references to a literal city coming down and this city is a  literal cube. This event ushers in a new kingdom. Some also see the kingdom as an internal thing. I see it as both.

I did as you suggested and made some sweeping organizational changes to the music. Hopefully these changes based on your suggestions will make the piece more stand alone and not some Hollywood sound effects track. I wanted it to be a meaningful and musical piece.

I was also a horn player and added more brass in this than I usually do. I attempted to make it as real as it could be. 

Thank you for listening and for your comments!

Timothy,

I didn't get a chance to hear the original version. I think it would be most educational if we could listen to both.

@Bob Porter

I'm at work, but I'll upload the 1st version later. Thanks.

Actually, Timothy, I prefer the first version. The only thing the second version does better is the build to the restatement of the theme at the one minute mark. The first version has more contrast and interest, to me. I too, might prefer a return of the opening theme at the end, but there is no rule that says you must. I think that sometimes we want the composer to tie everything up in a pretty bow for us, rather than do some work ourselves. I could do with about a third to half less reverb and some low end EQ. 

@Bob Porter, Thank you for listening to the other version. I would agree in hindsight. I think the 2nd version is nice fodder for possibly more parts. The piece seems to loose interest. Not quite fizzle out, but close. I don't fault the suggestions given here. I fault myself in the way I put it together.

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