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What do you do with a song after you write it?

I wrote this song.  But it seems to me that what makes or breaks a song is the performer.

Here's the lyrics, and I have an mp3 of me performing the song.  But I'm not much of a musician or singer.  I'd probably make a number one hit sound like a dud if I sang it. So it's hard to say what the thing would sound like in the hands of a professional singer with band or orchestra backing.

Anyway here it is for whatever it's worth.

Rainbow of Love

© James Burnon Ross

Please won't you water me
with the raindrops of your love
Send me a potpourri
with the tenderness thereof

My spirit's dry
I don't wanna die
Please send me something even
if it's just the moisture of your sigh

My spirit's dying from a desiccated heart
My soul is crumbling and falling all apart
I need a sip of love if it's only al la carte
Please won't you send me a rainbow of love

Oh, let your love flow
like a river flowing to the sea
Oh, let your light glow
like sunlight dancing on a tree

Oh I've been thirsty for the sweetness of your kiss
My lips are withered from the kissing that I miss
I long to love you with emancipated bliss
Please won't you send me a rainbow of love

Oh, let your love flow
like the golden honey of the bees
Oh, sing a love song
with a melody that's aimed to please

My breath is parched and dry like a cloudless desert sky
My eyes are empty, I've no tears, and cannot cry
My heart belongs to you.  That I can't deny.
Please won't you send me a rainbow of love
 
Oh, let your love flow
like an eagle gliding on a breeze
Oh, set your spirit free
and let your love flow eternally

My life's been empty for a long and lonely time
I've lived through barrenness where I almost resigned
My constant love for you has been my only crime
Please won't you send me a rainbow of love

Oh, send your love to me
I'll return it multiplied by infinity
Oh, won't you be with me
together we can make a life of
happiness and loving harmony

~~~

Here's the music file, just me and the guitar:

Rainbow of Love mp3 file about 4mb.

Constructive comments and suggestions are welcome as always.

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Hi, here's my commercial thoughts, so forgive me right now. Great poem and heart felt. Now, as for a song, the best performers in the world struggle with a song like this, but can make a hit, why because they are famous and have a huge fan base and their voice carry's the day. But, some of your words are a bit wrong, like the withered lips bit, not sure anyone would want to kiss them, need lip balm first, try to find less strong stuff. Like "Ive been longing for the the sweetness of your kiss,an embrace of love, a caring bliss, just one kiss"... you know what I mean......, Now, for us mortals, I and you need verses and chorus. Each verse should use the same notes, therefore each verse word count by line needs to match, the chorus is your chance to really go mental. But the song needs a beat, a feel and repeats for the public to grab hold and make lt humable / catchey. You as a writer can help make the composers job easier if your lyrics by verse, word count the same, line by matched line, account for Love being one note and Love-a- ble being three notes and so on. You may not know anything about notes or sound or melody...But the word count matching helps change a string of words on line(s) from a poem into a song. Just my thoughts and I hope not too strong, review it, alter it and get another party to check and maybe change again. Ta Steve 

Steven, I wonder, how do you know that "the best performers in the world struggle with a song like this" when you have not listened to the music he wrote for it, since the link has stopped working? Sometimeswhat looks like hard  (in terms of rythm and words) lyrics for you or me, might be made a wonderfull song, with great rythm, just like that. 


Steven Brecken said:

Hi, here's my commercial thoughts, so forgive me right now. Great poem and heart felt. Now, as for a song, the best performers in the world struggle with a song like this, but can make a hit, why because they are famous and have a huge fan base and their voice carry's the day. But, some of your words are a bit wrong, like the withered lips bit, not sure anyone would want to kiss them, need lip balm first, try to find less strong stuff. Like "Ive been longing for the the sweetness of your kiss,an embrace of love, a caring bliss, just one kiss"... you know what I mean......, Now, for us mortals, I and you need verses and chorus. Each verse should use the same notes, therefore each verse word count by line needs to match, the chorus is your chance to really go mental. But the song needs a beat, a feel and repeats for the public to grab hold and make lt humable / catchey. You as a writer can help make the composers job easier if your lyrics by verse, word count the same, line by matched line, account for Love being one note and Love-a- ble being three notes and so on. You may not know anything about notes or sound or melody...But the word count matching helps change a string of words on line(s) from a poem into a song. Just my thoughts and I hope not too strong, review it, alter it and get another party to check and maybe change again. Ta Steve 

Hi, I commented on the lyrics. Ta Steve

Spiros Makris said:

Steven, I wonder, how do you know that "the best performers in the world struggle with a song like this" when you have not listened to the music he wrote for it, since the link has stopped working? Sometimeswhat looks like hard  (in terms of rythm and words) lyrics for you or me, might be made a wonderfull song, with great rythm, just like that. 


Steven Brecken said:

Hi, here's my commercial thoughts, so forgive me right now. Great poem and heart felt. Now, as for a song, the best performers in the world struggle with a song like this, but can make a hit, why because they are famous and have a huge fan base and their voice carry's the day. But, some of your words are a bit wrong, like the withered lips bit, not sure anyone would want to kiss them, need lip balm first, try to find less strong stuff. Like "Ive been longing for the the sweetness of your kiss,an embrace of love, a caring bliss, just one kiss"... you know what I mean......, Now, for us mortals, I and you need verses and chorus. Each verse should use the same notes, therefore each verse word count by line needs to match, the chorus is your chance to really go mental. But the song needs a beat, a feel and repeats for the public to grab hold and make lt humable / catchey. You as a writer can help make the composers job easier if your lyrics by verse, word count the same, line by matched line, account for Love being one note and Love-a- ble being three notes and so on. You may not know anything about notes or sound or melody...But the word count matching helps change a string of words on line(s) from a poem into a song. Just my thoughts and I hope not too strong, review it, alter it and get another party to check and maybe change again. Ta Steve 

This is pleasant. I like the lyrics too.

Sorry for the broken link.  It should be working again now.

Yes, I wasn't asking for help writing a melody to these lyrics, I already have the melody written for the song. I also imagine a professional singer might tweak the lyrics to their own personal taste.  As far as the "withered lips" is concerned, I personally like that line.  This isn't meant to be a mushy love song.  You might imagine the guy who is singing this is in a war zone where everything is burnt out and he's quite distraught about having been away from anything loving for such a long period of time.  So the lyrics are designed to convey the crux of the story.   But like I say, if a professional singer wanted to tweak them to suit his own preferences I'm sure he could do that easily.

My real question is, "What do you do with a song like this after you write it?"

I'm not a performer and I don't have a band.  My performance of the song is pathetic and only takes away from what the song could actually be in the hands of a professional performer.   If the lyrics sound awkward in this song it's only because I'm a horrible singer and my timing and phrasing sucks.  I'd make the best song ever written sound like crap if I were to perform it.  So I take a real risk even attempting to sing the song myself.  I only do this to give an idea of how the melody is supposed to go.

As it is now the song has basically been doing nothing but sitting on the hard drive of my computer for over a year now.

I don't know who to send it to.  Or where to publish it where it might be noticed by a performer or professional who might find it interesting.

I'm not concerned with making money off the song.  But I would like to hear it performed by a decent performer and it would be cool to hear a song on the radio that I actually wrote.

The link should work now hopefully.

Rainbow of Love

Another thing I'd like to convey to a potential professional producer is to imagine this song as the background to a video.

In the video imagine a soldier singing this.  Around him is all manner of devastation in a "desert devoid of love" matching the lyrics of the song as it flows along.   At the very end in the final verse his dream is visualized, as he imagines being with his loving wife and young children in a lush meadow where there are no signs of war and devastation.  A life of happiness and harmony.

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