Music Composers Unite!
sorry that nobody replied so far.
I am very much an amateur, so, I may not be very eloquent to put my thoughts in words, and I may not be very technically able to give direct advice as such.
My impression was that the piece starts rather "busy" with too much going on very quickly in several voices, and it took me about 80 seconds into it to get some sense of direction and structure overall. After that, the beginning made a bit more sense, when listening back to it. However, then this has passed already.
So, my main suggestion would be: consider swapping these sections around - first start with the melody just by itself with the relatively simple, clear harmonic accompaniment in the base, then elaborate with the kind of variations and ornamentations from the (current) beginning, if that makes sense. Start simple, then become more complicated, to put it in one sentence.