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I am a new member and have posted my first piece of music on my page: Andante #1 in Gm. Here is a SoundCloud Link.

This is first piece I am willing to share. I think it is a complete as a musical idea and I am happy with it. Now, I am at a point in my composing, in general, where, having found something I like, I am unsure how to proceed. How to find I elements within the theme that are amenable to development?

Score: Andante%20%231%20in%20Gm.pdf

General impressions are fine. I especially interested in how others might proceed if given the theme.

bp

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Has a nice "Brahmsian" feel to it, from the outset.  Like a symphonic adagio.  I like the orchestral coloring, the interactions between the strings and woodwinds, especially in the lower registers.   The flute trill(s), I feel, may sound better if modified:  made shorter, quieter, or partly changed into arpeggios.  

On the whole, very enjoyable.  Thanks for posting this. 

Thanks for taking the time to listen.  Very pleased you found it listenable.  I'll do something about the trills...too much of a good thing.

Compositionally I need to figure out how to develop the couple of themes in the piece.

Thanks again,

bp

Another way to develop the themes is to double or even triple the speed of several motives in the higher resister(s), while inverting the material in the lower register and halving the speed there, while at the same time transposing each of the harmonic components.  Or you can do the reverse.  In the meantime the dynamics can fade or enter into a crescendo, while altering the intervals between the pitches in either of the trills, and altering their speed. 

Your composition software might also have an arpeggiator, which is useful for some instruments. 

Thanks for the reply. It's so funny...those trills were in my head when the piece went straight from mind to page. Everyone points them out, though, as not right. Ok..I got it.

I'm not sure where I'm going to go compositionally. I'll repost after I've put in signifcantly more work. 

Thanks again..

bp

Hello Bruce,

I really like this Andante.  Very beautiful.

I think the trills are an essential part, a meaningful focus point, and when the trills come up my mind re-interprets all the notes it heard leading up to the trill in relation to the trill.  As if in some sense "explained" by the trill, serving the trill.

My suggestion would be to make the start of each trill (meaning, the first few trill iterations) slower, then accelerating to constant speed to the end of the trill.  This would further emphasize, I think, the feeling of "suspension in mid air" that starts with the first note of the trill.

You asked what might come next after this movement.  Maybe a more energetic ebb-and-flow with successive descending arpeggios?  That's what came to my mind.

By the way, is this an Andante or an Adagio?

For example in measure 12 you have a beautiful g minor chord, but the flute is trilling from f to f# clashing with the G. If you simply trilled from f to g, it would've made more since and become more pleasing to the ear.



Mariza Costa-Cabral said:

Hello Bruce,

I really like this Andante.  Very beautiful.

Thank you for that.

I think the trills are an essential part, a meaningful focus point, and when the trills come up my mind re-interprets all the notes it heard leading up to the trill in relation to the trill.  As if in some sense "explained" by the trill, serving the trill.

As I said earlier, when I heard this piece in my mind it came with a trill. A number of people have said they don't care for, though. Needless to say, I am happy the SOMEONE heard as I did.

I'm somewhat limited with what I can do via my software to vary the trill speed. I'll have to look intro that.

You asked what might come next after this movement.  Maybe a more energetic ebb-and-flow with successive descending arpeggios?  That's what came to my mind.

What I had in mind was more of an analysis to find phrases of motives (in Schoenbergian sense) that I can use for development. The piece, as it is, seems to me like a condensation and/or brief recapitulation of what went on before. It's the "what went on before" that I need create.

Thanks much.

bp



Mariza Costa-Cabral said:

By the way, is this an Andante or an Adagio?

I think by the tempo marking it is an Andante. Even though it is written in 3/4 time, there are passages in the bass that have a two-to-the-bar feel which make the temp seem slower. Andante is what a had in mind.



Rodney Carlyle Money said:

For example in measure 12 you have a beautiful g minor chord, but the flute is trilling from f to f# clashing with the G.
Here is measure 12. 

The flute doubles the D on the oboe. The trill is D-Eb. Don't know what you're looking a.
Actually, I've rewritten it like this:

And the trill is not so intrusive...blends much better. Any softer than pp and it gets lost. 
Regards,
bp
My brain must have been thinking bass clef that night, lol.

Hi Bruce - It's a good start, and I think I understand the logic behind the trills. I think they stick out so much because they're so much higher than anything else in the texture, so they don't blend well with their surroundings. (Also, MIDI playback of trills is generally atrocious, which isn't your fault!) I think they might blend better if you moved the flute in m. 12 down an octave and sustained the first violins in m. 18 a few extra measures to blend with the clarinet.

Also, why the flat trill in the clarinet? This A-flat is the only accidental in the entire piece, and I feel like that sticks out as well.

I would like to hear more harmonic development in this piece. This could be accomplished by simply beginning or ending phrases (or sections) on a chord other than G minor... otherwise, when you keep coming back to the tonic chord at every important point, a sense of stagnation can often result. (You don't even have to go outside the key signature... try to see what contrast could result, for example, if you start a new section on an E-flat major chord, or create a phrase that builds to a big C minor chord.)

I also don't think it's necessary to be quite so precise with the dynamics... just writing an accent mark (instead of fp or sf) when you want something loud in a quiet section can go a long way toward decluttering the page and making it easier to read.

Nice work! Thanks for sharing.

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