Music Composers Unite!
Hi forum friends,
Just to let you know that I'm having another skin-graft operation on my feet on 19 June, as the last one didn't hold. My consultant has stressed how urgent it is for me to give up smoking. I've been smoking, on average, 40 fags a day, and even though it has been slowing down the healing process of my legs, I've still not had any desire to quit. It wasn't just the nicotine, I just enjoyed it too much. However, after trying one of those disposable "10 motives" "cigarettes", I ordered (what I could ill-afford) the full monty, and since receiving it, I've not had a fag for nearly a week. Which is a miracle for me. Just think about it: No more smelly ashtrays. My lungs cleaning themselves as I write this. No more fag burns in carpet. No more fishing around for a lighter. Just a "fag" lying there, waiting to be satisfyingly drawn on.
So, hopefully, my next operation might be more successful. Another side-effect is that I've developed a horrendous addiction to morphine, which really worries me. There was one night (the night before my doctor's appointment) when I'd run out prematurely, and the withdrawal symptoms were f_____g horrible, so bad that I wouldn't wish them on my worst enemy. So, ever since, I've tried to manage on as little morphine as possible, which is also very difficult because of the terrible pain my ulcers are inflicting.
Anyway, hopefully this next operation will help. Meanwhile, I'll keep you posted.
Good luck Simon. I wish you the best.
Just wondering if you are doing better, worse, or what?
I hope eventually it all gets worked out, or, at least down to something resembling a "dull roar" for you, so you can get back to what you enjoy.
PS - I hear you on the morphine addiction thing. I've seen traditional addicts go thru painful withdrawl... as well as medical patients on the stuff "legitamately" get cut off, and go thru the same hell...
I suppose it really doesnt matter HOW you get to hell, as hell is just hell,,, but, since you got to "hell" in a legitamate fashion, you get the moral high ground in my book. (not like you were partying and got there, you know?)
well..... I sincerely hope you get to feeling a little better eventually.
try to keep your chin up, friend.