"A Gentle Old Woman"

[Derianto Kusuma]

Hello,
I'm an amateur and new to this forum and I'd like any feedback on this piece which I composed recently. The piece is supposed to be about a quiet, gentle old woman.

And um.. I don't mind if the comments are harsher, because I definitely need to learn lots of things :)

Thanks!

[Anne Goodwin]

This is a very charming, sweet piece that makes me smile when I listen to it. You have a gentle melody interspersed with some "bubbly stuff" and it's just totally disarming. Good work.

[Derianto Kusuma]

Thanks EA Goodwin :) I tried..

[Per-Erik Rosqvist]

Ah, this was a pretty tune :)

Felt happy when listening to it this morning.. Sound quality could be better, but the idea gets through.

Good!

[tony hartmann]

Mr. Kusuma,

This is a well crafted piece and portrays the mood you chose to convey. You will learn as you go. The beauty of which is - you will never learn it all. You will have this to do all of your life. One amateur to another, I wish you well,
best,
tony h

[Derianto Kusuma]

Thanks Tony for you kind words of support! I wish you the best experience composing too :)
Deri

[Ann Williams]

What a nice piece--it makes you want to say "aaaahh, how sweet!" :)
If you care for my opinion:
1) the cello cuts slightly too fast into the flute solo either in the entry or the shorter notes...distracts a bit, but if that is the intention, by all means keep it!
2) absolutely loved the flute responses to the cello!!

[Derianto Kusuma]

Hi Ann,
Yup I notice some awkward cuts of some notes that actually could have been fixed. But I'm wondering which part do you mean is the cello cutting into the flute? Because the flute was playing solo in the first minute of the song, and the cello comes afterwards. Oh but the cello solo kind of comes too early every single note.. my bad not accounting for slightly different attack times of different instruments.
Thanks for your feedback and I'm glad you enjoy it!
Deri

[Diazo Soul Print]

Damn everyone here that I have listened to so far have been wonderful, and you are no exception.
Really really lovely piece. The harp slowly playing in the back is so beautiful and adds so much to the piece. All the flutes accents are so well done. I think for the most part the attack of the cello is fine, I think that it should maybe have a slightly longer release or maybe decay time?

The ending part where the melody climbs down kind of in a sped up fashion (around 2:08), sounds a little off, like one of the notes is off by a half step? I'm not really sure, but something sticks out a little bit. Also towards the end of the down sequence it sounds like you hit an adjacent note by mistake, (2:11) (which I do all the time...)

Hope that makes sense...

Really beautiful work. I would love to spin this sometime at a kick back.